How to Love Him

I just want to respect you with my loving
I am hungry and I am buried
To my feet, I am married
(bound, to only toes)

Teach me to not love the man
when I respect him
When I hear his doctrine and read his script
"take me as I am"
may I not love him

I thought to love
was to give
but took you did
You licked my wounds
then ripped them open again
More painful?
No, I was almost numbed by your words by then

And love is empty and always
just soft imagery
(I'll admit I'd never been happier
then when that setting sun was
aglow behind your jawline,
and your brow
and your ears)
Eat me up and be full
and try to tell me it's not cruel

...and yet, below the scarring
that riddles my body and makes me beautiful
I rise, singing,
I see that I am wiser
(a wisdom that lengthens my face)
and each day, less forlorn
I am learning how to love him.