my need to be by the sea

This is my need to be by the sea
The roaring waves of ultimate humility
I cannot find you there,
Though I asked you to follow me

I see myself, wrapped in blue
The wind trying to dislodge my feet
Trying to push me off this shattering cliff
Into the crashing water below
The water and the wind have conspired against me
Against us, tonight, my love

They call me back to my birthright place
The deep castle beneath the quivering waves
They sing to me, those spires three
They want me to rule them with kindness and understanding
They crave me, my sea people, they need me

The moss green surrounding my roots
Is growing ever colder
I feel the need to move my limbs
but my heart won't let me falter

The sun is too gone, the water too cold
I can't imagine the pain I would feel
Not only to lose my arms and legs
And toes and my little cherub nose
But to leave you here in the land of the living

I almost worry what you would do
Should I return to the foam and bid you adieu
Give you a tip of my hat
And a fish in a bowl and say
"I'll always be with you"
Then leap off this cliff, which at this point
Is more like a hotel with a view
I wonder what you might do

My hair is not of this cityscape
It almost belongs to the flowers
They preen and they prune
and they refuse not to groom
me into the human they wish me to be
This human I expect is something to be proud of
Something to wear on my breast
Like a badge of manhood

Yet, I can not help dreaming of the
droplets of dew
on our eyelashes
How the sun would then catch your
eyes of vibrating blue
and like a refraction, burn them into my corneas
So when I'm back in my ocean
Queen of my sinful domain
I will not see the beauty of the coral
All I will have to gaze and touch and look at
Will be the imprint of you in my eyes

This seaweed I wear will be scandalous,
I swear
You will not be able to contain
The passions you wish to take out on me
To rip and tear and take hold
Of this body by the sea
Like a porcelain doll, but more like a fish,
I'll writhe and wriggle underneath you
Then my sea blue eyes will burrow into your flesh
And you will rest, you will rest

So while I perch upon my death bed
This edge of the earth I have found
I'll think of you in your little dark room
Ink stained and rooted to the ground
I'll remember the secret fire
The burning embers within you
That it took me years to glimpse
Then I'll swallow my fear and leave you to the wolves
And join my people of blue

But every new moon
I'll think of you, and wonder where you might be
I'll know that you're loving and exploring and growing
But I'll pray that you're on that cliff
waiting for me.