tonight

not to begin to know,
not even beginning to guess

there was a piano in the foreground
before her eyes fought for the light
usually dashing about, never able
able to look back at me

and this time her stare is so strong
i have to look away, the fire behind those
pools
are engulfing me

so i look to her mouth, and her nose,
and her cheeks. Even in the dark I can see them
burning, feel them burning
she is bejewelled

she is a fighter, this little girl child in my arms
she is a siren without even knowing

she knows not what she carries in that heart of hers
the one she so freely gives
to any that ask
i never even did, i never wanted it
and she gave it to me, defiantly
she had to choose me

nothing (everything) has changed
her hands so light and thin,
she is fragile
my little golden bird.
so strong is she, she leaps without a landing
and she takes to flying
till gravity pulls her back to me

the shirt she wore before
her hair has grown...
i think
i'm sure i look the same
i'm sure i am the same
dynamic and vivid is she,
like a river, always changing
always growing and trying

i admire her passion and her soft step
i barely hear her as she treads
on the floorboards
and to the door
i can't even hear her breath

and she surprises me,
because i think i might miss her this time
i miss her lightness because my world is dark and heavy
cold and bitter and this time she is my warmth

i dislike the future, and what is ahead
i look at nick and all that he said
his voice got too light
his soul got too high,
until it ran away with him
and i worry that mine might try

but there is the moon tonight,
and i am in a circle of warmth.
i have an open book by my side,
a candle filling my room with pale light
warm light
her light
and i have faith in her

i'll dream of the owl tonight,
dear friend owl, guide me
guide me to her in my sleep life.
So that i may lean on her siren strength,
and she may stop time for us
so we may both hold to each other
in this cold and barren eternity.

and i know that tomorrow she will miss me.