this, i do not doubt.

i don't want to find
myself in an oleander garden
the white petals surrounding my
poor vision

i don't want to find
that the sea has dried up and died
the coral and souls of the
merfolk gone

but when i think of you
my thoughts go to abundance
so many flowers, so much life
its a call of the watch man
you are rocking me to sleep

what i have never said
is that i am like you
in so many ways, i choose
very carefully
i had blocked people out
for even just a breath
you have made it quite far tonight

all of my memories of rooftop confessionals
were once dreams and aspirations
that you would find me upon the shingles
is no longer surprising

sometimes i wish i could shower you in song
songs carefully chosen and placed
i never really know what to say
but i say things anyway

i've never had a problem
or a fear of being loved
it's the fear of being not
of falling for a fraud in the moonlight

and behind the hope is
that little ball of fear
that i would trust enough is a monumental
lapse in poor judgement

and i no longer wish for specifics
just happiness between our silences
that wherever we go
we lull into mutuality of love
this, i do not doubt.